Drunken Hopes
by stripedshortie
Summary: (WARNING: SUBSTANCE ABUSE) Loki is living with Tony Stark, under the ploy that he will cope with his problems, and recover from his alcoholism. Though Tony cleaned up his act long enough to pass as a suitable host, things only get worse when Loki stays at Stark Tower.


_**I'm supposed to be working on other fics, but since I am a complete ass, I listened to my emotional inspiration playlist. So fucking take this piece of shit.**_

* * *

_Party girls, don't get hurt, can't feel anything, when will I learn?_

"Fuck you Thor. I'm doing fine in Anthony's care!"

"Loki, staying with-_Anthony_-is not helping you cope-"

"Better to fucking destroy myself with him, than to live with you and _Odin _keeping all eyes on me. I loathe being stared at, talked about. This way, at least I feel numb, and can't feel the stares."

"That is not better, when you can't feel a damn thing, you don't learn."

_I push it down, push it down._

The drink burns his throat, all thoughts becoming slurred.

_I'm the one "for a good time call," phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell, I feel the love, __feel the love._

He giggled with a high pitch, trailing his fingers down whosoever's chest it was this time.

"Come to bed with me, sweetheart."

_1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, drink_

"God damn it Loki."

The god laughed, slumped over the table.

"We can't ever be sober at the same time, can we?" Tony sighed, figuring out how to lead the mess of a man back to bed.

_Throw 'em back 'til I lose count_

"You've had enough."

"Pour me another, or I'll wring your throat."

He was kicked out of the bar, only to stop at the liquor store.

_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_

Loki was the life of the party, at an awful price.

_I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist, like it doesn't exist_

Who cared which street he ended up on tonight?

It was worth losing a night to no thoughts of pain.

_I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry_

He laughed until his stomach hurt, spilling stories of hurt to a stranger, both of them crying together.

_I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier_

"Loki, your drinking is worse than mine."

"I'm...a... god... Tony, I'm fiiine...Dance with meeee…."

_But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes_

"Oh Norns. They're right. I have to stop..."

He was nearing the edge of the balcony.

_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight_

Another bottle of scotch was opened, Loki spilling much of it's contents trying to pour it.

"Fuck!"

He just drank from the bottle.

_Help me, I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes_

"Anthony, I-I'm scared. I'm terrified I'll drink too much, I won't wake again. Though what will happen if I cease, is far worse.

_Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight, on for tonight_

"I'm gonna drink with you tonight."

"Mmm, finally I won't feel as alone."

_Sun is up, I'm a mess_

With a pounding headache, Loki woke up. He groaned when he realized he wasn't at Stark Tower and saw long black hair instead of short brown.

_Gotta get out now, gotta run from this_

He suddenly remembers a belligerent man, the one sleeping next to him.

Aggressive and large, he had to agree to a night at this place.

Dressing quickly, he noticed his cheeks were burning.

_Here comes the shame, here comes the shame_

"I'm sorry!"

"You're a fucking mess! I cleaned up my act to be able to take care of you, and you sleep around every other night!"

"Hilarious, really Anthony. You still have the reputation of a playboy, and for good reason. Don't act innocent in this case."

"Leave."

"W-what?"

"I've been at least trying, and you haven't made any effort. Don't come near me again."

"You're n-not serious? Please, please, I'm sorry, I'll stop, I won't leave the tower to drink anymore!"

"Stay with one of your fucking sex toys. No wonder Odin preferred Thor."

Tony's breath caught. He hadn't meant to say that.

"No.."

"Loki-"

"Is that what you've been meaning to say, every night I slept next to you? Every time I tried to help? This is the only way I've been able to live without wanting to die, but the person I trusted most hates me."

"I didn't-"

"Goodbye."

_But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes_

Loki refused to look down at the faraway streets below.

He closed his eyes.

A god fell for the last time.

_On for tonight_  
_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight_  
_On for tonight_  
_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight_  
_On for tonight_  
_On for tonight_

"Thor, I-Loki's gone." Tony was in the process of getting drunk when Thor came in.

The god before him dropped into a chair beside him.

He didn't need clarification.

The sky tore apart with grief.

* * *

**_I literally have no idea what the fuck this is. (as i hide feelings of sadness after writing this)_**

**_Song: Chandelier by Sia_**


End file.
